We
are almost two weeks into the New Year and how are everyone’s New Year
Resolutions going? Upon doing some research regarding New Year Resolutions, I
found some interesting information about self-control strategies that may
hopefully continue to encourage everyone in holding to their resolutions this
year AND encouraging those around you. For this week, we will look at how you
can help others (family, children, friends) develop appropriate skills to
maintain self-control. Self-discipline is not easy and it comes with a lot of
hard work. With positive encouragement and appropriate modeling, you can help
those around you continue to develop their own methods of self-control.
In order to be a positive support for others,
you need to build a foundation of trust. If those closest to
you trust your judgment and care, they will be more likely to respond to any
concerns you might have on their current level of self-control. Also, be
mindful that friends, family and especially children learn emotional
regulation from your modeling. Individuals are likely to follow your lead,
so take a moment and reflect on your own responses to be the best influence and
role-model you can. Be mindful that others can feel your anxiety.
If people close to you notice your behavior is shifting and nervous tendencies
develop, they are likely to respond in a similar fashion. For those encouraging
young adults, adolescents and children, it is important to understand that self-control
is made possible by the developing brain. Your prefrontal cortex (controls
impulses) is not fully developed until you are 25. So you have time to
encourage those around you to strengthen this area of the brain through practice.
Encouraging self-control of those around you
will be hard, but rewarding work. Be mindful that practice makes
self-control easier. People are more likely to accomplish goals that
they set themselves and are more willing to practice them. Encourage your
family and friends to practice the goals they would like to reach often, but know
with this encouragement, you will also have to set limits. If
you were asked to keep someone accountable or would like your child to follow
through with goals set at home, set realistic expectations and limits to these
goals. Your limits will remind people of their own goals. With limit setting, patience
is key. Individuals attempting to improve self-control and reframe their
behavior will experience emotional difficulties such as frustration and
agitation with others. You are likely to be that individual, so be patient and
process with your friend, family or child your role and how you will continue
to help support their growth of self-control. Finally, be mindful that people
can learn to master self-control on their own. Sometimes you might
have to take a step back and let your child or friend practice what they have
learned. People learn through both success and failure – all aspects of their
lives.
So
remember, you have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and
you will find strength. Encourage your friends, family and children to practice
self-control in all aspects of their life to obtain and achieve their short-
and long-term goals. It’s not easy, but the more support we have – and give –
the easier it is to develop self-control.
Keep working on those Resolutions!