Emotions are powerful
responses that are unavoidable. As unique individuals, we express our emotions
in various ways depending on the situation and people around us. You may have a
friend or know someone who is always happy and cheerful or
someone who is cranky and moody.
But what about
anger? Do you know someone who expresses anger frequently? Perhaps you find
yourself feeling angry more often. Understanding your emotions is the first
step to knowing how to appropriately express these feelings.
What is Anger?
According to Dr.
Charles Spielberger, anger
is “an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense
fury and rage.” Exploring the nature of anger, irritability and agitation are
accompanied by both physiological and biological changes. For instance, when
you experience frustration or agitation, your blood pressure and heart rate
increase, energy hormones increase, as well as adrenaline and noradrenaline. – Family
fighting during holidays, a delayed flight, wrong food order, argument with a
friend, the kids arguing in the back seat – Anger is the result of external or
internal (even a combination of the two) events. Either an individual person or
an event can stir up irritability.
Why Do We Feel Anger?
It’s normal to question why
we experience anger. Leading experts within anger management programs have
offered several responses why irritability occurs more often for some. However,
several of these reasons are worth taking a moment to consider. For instance,
anger occurs because someone wants to harm
themselves. Depression can play a big role in anger directed towards
oneself. If you feel powerless or isolative, it may represent a desire for
self-destruction.
We may experience anger
in an effort to achieve control. It
has been suggested that anger is used to intimidate or manipulate our
circumstances. Fear, irritation and even sadness can drive your intent for
control. People will experience anger to feel
powerful. Making someone feel small when you’re feeling down can make you feel
bigger
in comparison. Additionally, the need to fight injustice can fuel anger.
While personal morals and feelings of social justice look different for
everyone, some people experience outrage at any inequality committed against
themselves or others.
As
we continue to explore causes and consequences of anger, remember that anger is
typically goal-driven. ‘Why’ we experience anger will be different for
everyone. Anger can be triggered and leave people feeling worse than the start
of their irritability. Regardless of what causes your frustration, what you do
with those feelings of agitation counts! Over the next post, I will review some
of the best approaches to reduce anger and some practical steps to limit
agitation and irritability daily.